Herewith an animated (yea, lively) video by Paul Franco, depicting Dick’s warm welcome to his new post.
Well hello, Mr. Cheney, and welcome to Hell! I hope that the staff has been treating you well You'll get used to the noise, you'll get used to the smell . . . . And once you're acclimated, we hope you will begin To reverse the downward spiral that our enterprise is in. We're losing our focus, we're losing our grip Our overnight ratings are starting to slip Lately even the Pope has been giving us lip! We need a boardroom shakeup, we need an iron fist And Cheney is the name atop our search committee's list. We've followed you closely for many a year Your vision, your values, your brilliant career And we think that your methods can be applied here . . . . So all our operations will undergo review That Cheney touch could do so much to boost our revenue! So consider the challenge, consider the stakes Your resume proves that you have what it takes — The courage to never admit your mistakes! And may I say how much we all admire your work That charming Prince of Darkness shtick, that snarky little smirk! The team is on board and the offer's sincere You'll have a free hand and we won't interfere The whole organization is thrilled that you're here! The crisis is averted, our fortunes have revived And Hell is bound to prosper now that Cheney has arrived And Hell is bound to prosper now . . . Dick Cheney has arrived! (We're taking drastic measures, we hope it's not too late But who would think . . . Damnation Inc. . . . could sink to such a state!)
Video ©Paul Franco